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George Costanza’s Quotes of the Week

This week’s quotes of the week come from Seinfeld’s George Costanza.

“I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they’re thinking, ‘*That’s* why I’m not a heterosexual.’”

“If I owned a company, my employees would love me. They’d have huge pictures of me up the walls and in their home, like Lenin.”

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no reponsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating… then you finish of as an organism !!!
Amen”

“When women smile at me I don’t know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it like they’re psychotic or something. And I don’t know if I’m supposed to smile back. I don’t know what to do.”

“For me to ask a woman out, I’ve got to get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks.”