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Toilet humour

Just some random toilet thoughts that came to mind:

1) Why is it that you are more of a man if your urination takes longer than another man? Is the man with the shorter urination any less of a man? I see guys competing with each other all the time.

2) At work last week I was in the stall, and someone else went to the stall next to me. I started hearing some crazy noises; sounded like maybe something he ate that day. I happened to notice his shoes underneath the stall. About 10 minutes after, I was walking down the hallway and I saw the exact same shoes. It was very uncomfortable to connect the noises I heard to an actual person that I work with.