Friday night brought my buddy Mark and I an interesting encounter with a very aggressive yet entertaining Portuguese individual. He walked up to us and asked us if we’d like to buy some ‘crack’. So Mark’s ‘tongue in cheek’ reply was “No thanks, I heard crack stunts your growth”. Seeing that the ‘crack dude’ wasn’t much taller than 5 feet, he took offense to it. He replied “Are you calling me short? You wanna fight a pork chop?” He put up his dukes up and started jumping around like a boxer from the 70′s. Then he put his arms around the 2 girls he was with and said “I got hot girls. Look at these girls, I got hot girls! You calling me short?” After laughing in his face as he danced around like a little pansy, he tried to take a couple swings at Mark. His girls were trying to drag him away, but he kept coming back. We got bored of his little dance after a while and jumped in a cab to leave, because he clearly wasn’t lucid. I remember driving away in the cab and looking out the window only to see the self proclaimed ‘Pork Chop’ fighting some other guys on the sidewalk.
The moral to the story, don’t do crack.