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Team America quotes 7

Here are some memorable Team America quotes. Mom, please don’t read the third one. Thanks ;)

Kim Jong Il: I’m so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There’s no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there’s no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I’m ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There’s no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It’s kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it’s fiwring my body with rage / I’m the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they’wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I’wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me…

Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won’t let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We’ve been frew this a dozen times. I don’t have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN’s collective mind. I’m sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you… and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
Kim Jong Il: OK, Hans. I’ll show you. Stand to your reft.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left]
Kim Jong Il: A rittle more.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left again]
Kim Jong Il: Good.
[Opens up trap, Hans falls in]

Guy in Bar: See, there’s three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn’t fuck the assholes, you know what you’d get? You’d get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!

  • Tomass

    It was the funniest when Blix fell into the trap…

    Kim Jong Il “Inspect that you mother f*%&er!!! F*&% you Hans Brix, you cock f&*%!!!”

  • Jim’s Hot Friend

    I have to agree whole heartedly with Tommy… why would you leave out the climax of the scene? Tommy does a great impression of Kim Jong… sooo funny… any chance you would record Tommy saying the above line?

    nice!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/16252632293116411353 iBrett

    The people want more Montgomery Burns quotes! :)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04454437680686627778 Jim

    Patience my friend. Mr. Burns quotes will be back soon enough ;)

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/04454437680686627778 Jim

    jim’s hot friend: I’d love to record Tommy saying that line. How much would you pay for it?

  • Jim’s Hot Friend

    I think the real question is how much would I pay for a night with Tommy… umm… your parents don’t really read this, do they?

    nice!

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/17609953584799914632 Angel With an Attitude

    wow…i wouldn’t let my mom read this! you are a braver soul than i!!