Late on Friday night in the midst of studying for my Accounting exam, some Jewish kid called me to inquire about purchasing my Jeep. He then went off topic and told me that his father only speaks Russian and Hebrew. Knowing my last name, the kid thought I was Jewish so he asked me if I spoke Hebrew. I told him I’m not Jewish and I don’t speak Hebrew. He then told me that his Dad heard me talk and that his Dad said that I sound like the type of guy that can’t get laid. So to go along with his not so funny joke, I told him that his father is wrong because I was having sex when he called me. He then went on to tell me that his father said that even if I did get laid, I’d probably be the type of guy to leave my socks on when I’m doing it. After lots of patience on my part, he continued to repeat the same things over and over again. So I finally hung up on him (After repeatedly attempting to let him go nicely).
So the kid calls back a few times. I didn’t answer, but since he still kept calling, I figured I’d have some fun with it. So I turned my speakers on full blast and went to this Arnold Schwartzenegger Sound Board website and had a little conversation with the kid. Here is an excerpt.
Arnold: Good Morning. Who are you?
Jewish kid: Hello?
Arnold: I’m detective John Kimble. What do you want?
Jewish Kid: What? Where’s Jim?
Arnold: Stop it! You idiot.
Jewish Kid: Put Jim back on the phone.
Arnold: Stop whining. You son of a bitch. You lack discipline.
Jewish Kid: Where’s Jim?
Arnold: Who is your Daddy and what does he do?
Jewish kid: Now you’re starting to piss me off.
*click* hang up
So the kid tries calling me another 30 times or so throughout the night while I was studying. I think he might have called 2 or 3 times the next day, but I think he finally gave up.
I guess some people have nothing better to do on a Friday night.