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Rejected Hallmark Greeting Cards

Looking back over the years that we’ve been together,
I can’t help but wonder…
“What the hell was I thinking?”

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?

I’ve always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I’ve changed my mind.