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George Costanza’s Quotes of the Week

This week’s quotes of the week come from Seinfeld’s George Costanza. “I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they’re thinking, ‘*That’s* why I’m not a heterosexual.’” “If I owned a company, my employees would love me. They’d have huge pictures of me up the walls and in their home, like Lenin.” ...

I can’t wait to have kids

Check out these T-Shirts for kids. When I have kids, this will be the first place I go shopping Link Examples: “I sh#t my pants, and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt”“Now that I’m safe, I’m pro-choice”“I can kick your baby’s ass”

Anyone have a gas mask?

I woke up this morning to an unpleasant surprise. Shortly after my alarm went off, still half asleep, I opened my bedroom door and I felt like I walked into a brick wall. My roommate’s bedroom is across the hall from mine, his door was wide open, and the entire hallway, stairway, and bathroom smelled ...

Quote of the week

This week’s “Quote of the week” comes from George Carlin. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

Toronto Beach Bum

I took my puppy for a run on the boardwalk along Lake Ontario this evening, and as I look down the horizon, I see the silhouette of a crashed bicycle with a human body lying on the ground. As I get closer, I notice it’s a bum. The bicycle was still on the boardwalk; the ...

Owned by my dog

It’s quite evident that I’m actually owned by my dog. She has total control over me. I might as well go to the Humane Society and get some id tags for myself, and heck, I might as well buy myself a collar while I’m at it. Here are the top 5 reasons why I’m owned ...

Beer Can War

I attended a NASCAR race in Michigan on the weekend and stayed at a camp site at the track, partying with a bunch of drunk NASCAR fans (Many of which were Canadian as well). We piled 12 people into the back of a pickup truck, and somebody threw a half-full can of beer at the ...