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Rednecks in Toronto

It’s not too often I come across rednecks in Toronto, but today was a prime example.

I took the last 2 days off work to do construction on my house. (We dug out a separate basement entrance, and a new room in the basement, and we built a new washroom upstairs). Well the contractor we’re working with took me to a bar for lunch today, one that he regularly visits. He and another regular went outside together for a cigarette. Another regular sat at the end of the bar a few stools away from me. He looked like your typical redneck. Long dark mullet, glasses, not too many teeth left, weathered face. I did my very best to avoid eye contact with this guy, and it was very awkward. My peripheral vision told me that he kept looking at me looking to start a conversation.

Eventually he asked me if my cell phone had a camera on it. I told him no it didn’t, and that it was just a regular cell phone. At this point I was regretting putting my cell phone on the bar. Well in subsequent random blurbs from this guy, we learned a lot about him. Here are some quotes and other conversations that took place in a 20 minute time span.

– “My daughter is doing very well for herself. She’s in Manitoba working at Wal Mart. She is the only one with any brains in the family”.
– This led to a conversation about brains, and here is another quote from him while slurring his words: “Beer doesn’t affect my brain cells, since I only have 2 brain cells, so it can’t affect them.. ha ha “
– He asked another guy if his parents had any kids that survived.. Then he felt obliged to explain his joke. “Because you don’t exist.. ha ha ha “
– Apparently another regular from the bar overdosed on sleeping pills 2 nights ago, and again the night before. (After leaving this bar heavily intoxicated)
– A conversation with other patrons in the bar led to a discussion about school. One guy remarked “Well at the schools these days, they let all the monkeys in first, then they let the white people in if dere’s room left”. (Extremely racist)

Anyway.. I just wanted to share my first Toronto redneck experience…

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