For New Years, I went to Montreal with 3 other guys to celebrate the New Year. One of the guys who came with us I had never met before, but he is a friend of my buddy who was also on the trip. His whole persona and all of his mannerisms and random comments are hysterical and were worthy of me writing this entry about him. He made us laugh so much over the weekend that we compiled a list of all of the funny things he did that made us laugh. He’s a stalky guy from a smaller town who calls himself “Festively plump”, and he always has something random and funny to say. The faces he makes and his laugh are also hilarious. The best part is that he doesn’t even try to be funny; it’s just him being himself. You could make a movie on this guy and it would be hilarious. We’re convinced that he has A.D.D. but he denies it.
Here is the list of random funny things he did this weekend:
– We were at a restaurant and he asked for the leftover dinner rolls to go.
– We’d be at a bar and he’d disappear and we wouldn’t see him until we got back to the hotel
– He goes through about 2 packs of chewing gum every day, every few minutes he pops one in his mouth
– He ordered a pizza and dropped a gigantic pile of change on the pizza box for the delivery guy.
– He calls everybody “Nort”
– We were in an elevator packed with a bunch of guys and he let a huge fart go.
– He accidentally knocks stuff over. He knocked over a glass in the restaurant, beer bottles in the hotel room, and a lamp in the hotel room.
– At a restaurant he took a spoonful of our other buddy’s soup while he was in the washroom.
– He always asks if you’re done with your food long before you’re even close to finishing it.
– We dropped him off at a massage parlour at 11:30AM and waited outside in the truck for him.
– He talked about a spaced-out kid right in front of him saying he looks like he “got hit by a train”.
– He talked about an old man with an animal hat right in front of him saying it looks like he has a squirrel on his head.
– Slipped on the ice on the sidewalk and fell flat on his face.
– 2 minutes after he talked about how full he was from lunch, he saw a Dairy Queen and asked if we could stop the truck so he could get an ice cream.
“You gotta get er done”
“I knew it was time to leave when I got turned down by the passed out girl”
this guy is single, right? i can’t imagine a less appealing specimen of manhood.