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Should have been a stuntman? 1

I had an anonymous friend who was in town at the beer festival with his friends on Saturday. After he was done at the beer festival he had too much to drink to drive his car, so I met up with him and drove it for him. As I was buckling up my seatbelt, he ...

My first triathlon 3

Yesterday’s triathlon was a lot of fun. When I showed up at the starting line, my friend Tim was there with his girlfriend. I had no idea he was coming; he had been planning this since the first day I announced that I had entered this triathlon on my website. Tim reminds me of an ...

Crazy naked

I was sitting on my computer about 5 minutes ago and just outside my window was my next door neighbour standing there smoking a cigarette. I noticed that her back looked pretty bare and I was pretty sure she wasn’t wearing a beige shirt. This observation sparked my curiousity, so I walked to my brother ...

All Ready to Go 3

I’m all ready for my first triathlon. Here are some of my preparations for tomorrow. - Read the Beginner’s guide to triathlons - No shaving until after the race (It’s been over a week) - Bought a new bike and swimming goggles - Warmed up with a 30KM bike ride earlier this evening - Pasta ...

The good ol’ farmer’s blow 1

After lunch today I was walking back to work with some friends along the sidewalk and I sneezed a huge sneeze. There was a large volume of gooey green snot hanging about 7 inches down from my nose. I had to think and act quickly because it wasn’t going to release from my nose easily, ...

Algonquin 2005 3

This year’s annual Algonquin canoe/portage/camp trip was an amazing 5 days of hard work and relaxation. I just returned last evening. It was the perfect opportunity for me to get out of the fast paced city life and enjoy nothingness. It took us about 6 hours of canoeing and portaging to get to our first ...

Air France plane on fire in Toronto 2

An Air France jet carrying as many as 200 passengers skidded off the runway and caught on fire today at 3:50PM. I just checked the live Highway 401 traffic camera, and it looks like there is still a lot of smoke coming from the plane. The news agencies haven’t said whether they were able to ...

Today’s lame news 2

I decided to talk about the news today, and how boring it happens to be on this twenty-fifth day of July, two thousand and five. The top story on CNN today is entitled “Union split over future direction“. I’ve never been a strong believer in unions, so this one pretty much bores the hell out ...

Anti motorcycle city 6

The City of Toronto hates motorcycles. It is such a hassle to have a motorcycle downtown and use it as a method of transportation. The bylaw officers are complete pricks when it comes to parking your motorcycle. Motorcycles are better than cars for the environment, they take up much less space than cars, and getting ...

Team America quotes 7

Here are some memorable Team America quotes. Mom, please don’t read the third one. Thanks Kim Jong Il: I’m so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There’s no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / ...